October 15th, 2008 (04:27 pm)
current mood: discontent
A collection of wonderfully vague observations in the form of a Pro and Con list:
PRO: You really feel a connection with him. And lets face it, this is what you've wanted for a while.
PRO: He has openly and expressively made his feelings known. He actually LIKES you. And in a potentially serious way.
CON: You're both unsure if this is the right/smart thing to do...BUT
PRO: You can talk about it together in a civil and rational manner for an extended period of time without getting emotionally distraught.
THEREFORE: concerns of inabilities to communicate have already been addressed and placated.PRO:
You're BOTH just as emotionally distraught about how painful not being together seems to be.
THEREFORE: You're both strongly invested in one another.CON:
Both your parents find the situation tenuous (they're paying for you to live there, you "changed the rules on them" etc)
SO: We probably won't get their blessing or 100% support.CON:
Potential awkwardness around friends (lovey-dovey stuff)
BUT: I think we can be discrete and responsible and keep our relationship seperate from friend time
CON: According to most people (both from friends and those who post their opinions on the internet,) its a horrible horrible idea to date a friend who is (doubly egregiously) your roommate.
BUT: One has to consider the caliber of people that tend to write those horror stories with roommate dating. Are they the most reliable source on the subject? Would they have broken up anyway? WHY did they break up in teh first place, and would we have those issues? Are they people that tend to attract drama no matter what? There HAVE to be examples of this working out for the better, right?PRO:
What if they're wrong...what if we can work it out? Statistically speaking, dating roommates MUST turn out alright once in a while!PRO:
Vindicated for years of stressing and pining.
The supposedly "inevitable"breakup. How awkward will it be?PRO:
Knowing someone so well makes a relationship with that person feel safe, secure, comfortable.CON:
The eventual issues with physical intimacy. You can have all the chemistry in the world and not be that sexually compatible. Maybe that could be the deal breaker.PRO:
I love being around and with him.PRO:
From a pure compatibility perspective, we both seem to be in the same boat with experience and expectations for relationships.
BUT: Will us both wanting/only being capable of a serious relationship be a problem?
I'm too god-damned optimistic for my own good. I want it to work, but maybe my investment comes from a place of rejection and disappointment. Do I just want to be with him no matter the cost? Am I being selfish?
Was this is an attraction born from convenience and proximity? Are his feelings not as genuine as mine? I've been nursing this wound for a while, and is this just unexpected.FEAR ON TOP OF FEAR:
Am I expecting something too perfect out of this? Should I not look a gift horse in the mouth and just take the plunge, logic be damned, if its really what i want and I know it will make me happy?CURSE:
Dammit, why can't I predict how this would turn out?NOTE:
Which dilemma is worse? Not having someone in your life? Or wanting to be with someone who wants you too, but you shouldn't?
The age old debate between Unrequited and Starcrossed love...THESIS:
In the end, there is only one question for him to answer."Would you have asked me out if we weren't living together?"